J: A few weeks ago, I thought it would be an awesome idea to buy my wife something at Victoria’s Secret. For the uninitiated, this seems like it would be a lot of fun! If you’ve ever been shopping there, you know the reality is quite different!
From the moment I walked in, it was complete sensory overload: unreal amounts of pink everywhere, giant posters of supermodels and endless amounts of lingerie in varieties that I never even knew existed! I quickly realized that I was totally out of my element. To top it all off, I’m the only guy in the store and there are women from age 12-50 watching me out of the corner of their eye to make sure I’m not some creeper. Very awkward!
Luckily I had a plan before I ever even entered the store.
H: Had I known my husband was headed to Victoria’s Secret I’m pretty sure I would have stopped him! This is a place that I’m uncomfortable in, so I was sure I didn’t want HIM in there! Ladies, I know you agree that those posters of models and endless amounts of lingerie do not inspire confidence. If anything, it does the opposite. What I feel great in and what VS says I should wear are very different.
J: So, back to my story! I walked straight to the nearest cash register (which is unfortunately about 150 feet into the store!) and said the following words, “I NEED A GIFT CARD PLEASE!”
About 2 1/2 minutes later, I was safely outside the store and on my way home with a great surprise for Hannah.
As I’ve gotten older, and just a little wiser, I’ve slowly realized that what guys think is sexy and what actually makes a woman feel beautiful are usually two very different things! Guys, we’ve been brainwashed by movies, media and magazines to believe that “sexy” looks, acts and dresses a certain way. I know it sounds simple, but guys hear this: the sooner you can stop comparing your wife to some perfect version of sexiness and start appreciating all the ways that she truly is beautiful, the better off you both are. And the closer you are to really finding what you’re looking for!
H: He’s totally right! That gift card was like a piece of gold! And not because it was just money to blow. It stood for much more. It meant that
1.) my husband is thoughtful and precious.
2.) he thinks I’m beautiful because he obviously had something in mind for that gift card!
And 3.) what I chose was going to be something that I feel confident in and enjoy wearing.
By building my confidence, he is building our marriage.
So our simple advice is this: If a man is going shopping at Victoria’s Secret, he really only has any business buying one item: a gift card (preferably in the $50 or $100 size – seriously guys, this stuff is as expensive as a trip to Best Buy!).
I’m more interested in giving Hannah the opportunity to buy what makes her feel beautiful than putting some outfit on her. By the way, this same advice applies for buying gift cards to Express, GAP, Target or wherever your wife loves to shop.
And I’m more interested in buying something that I feel confident in, not something I feel like hiding in! By letting me know his intention, but giving me the green light to purchase what I want, no one had unrealistic expectations. Because I’m confident, he’s confident.
Let us know how it works out for you!
We’d love to hear what you guys (and ladies) think.
Jake and Hannah
P.S. Victoria’s Secret should consider moving a gift card kiosk to the front door of the store – seriously – even just for the holidays!
David and I should tell you our Victoria’s Secret story from our time in New Orleans. Awkward!
This is an experience I’ve never had.
Perhaps one day – hope this is good preparation!
You’re a brave man…
Ha! Thank you, sir!