Sometimes I struggle. I struggle to parent my girls when in the company of other good parents. Really, it’s not that I struggle to “parent” them in this setting…it’s more like I struggle with “too much parenting” in this situation. When I’m with another mom, especially an older one, I really struggle with wanting them to recognize what a great parent I am. This self-inflicted need is not warranted by comments that they’ve made necessarily. It’s more like an overwhelming self-consciousness. I WANT them to respect my parenting skills. I WANT them to see me as someone who is capable of a “job well done.” I find myself being more strict, pressing manners in an almost OCD way. Does this sound like you?
I need to relax. I need to rest in the fact that these elders, these mothers…they’ve taught me well. I’ve witnessed them raising me and my friends for 30 years. Their abilities are where I draw my abilities. Instead of just enjoying my children, their company, and the unpredictable things my kids do that make me laugh, I bear down. I control.
Tomorrow I will be better. Tomorrow I’m turning over a new leaf. I want to be concerned with the heart of my children, not overwhelmed by their table manners at 3 years old. Tomorrow I shepherd my girls, not send them to boot camp. Tomorrow I show them what a fun mom I can be, while still guiding their little lives in a positive way. Hear me now…if my 3 year old dumps sand on her friend’s head, there will be a chat to be had. But, I want to display balance. I want to be a strong disciplinarian while keeping the purpose of discipline in focus- which is Christ. I want to help my children look more like Jesus. My purpose is not to have my children look like well-behaved children, though that is a great by-product of pointing your kids towards Jesus.
Do you struggle with this? Does your desire to show off your parenting skills sometimes turn you into a parent you don’t want to be? Let’s try exhaling a little bit tomorrow. Let’s try resting in what we know is inside us…instinct. We have been chosen to parent our little ones and no one else. Not our moms. Not our mother-in-laws. Not our friends. Not our friend’s moms. We have what it takes to guide them and teach them. Let’s parent them because we want to them to become more like Christ. Let’s rest in that and have fun while doing it.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this. Please tell me I’m not the only one who struggles with this:) Let’s dialog about ways to keep a balanced perspective while we are feeling pressure to be perfect parents…
Hannah
